


Help Me

by kethni



Category: The Bill
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:17:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3237704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kethni/pseuds/kethni





	Help Me

Luke huddles in the middle of the sofa. The large room is full of police officers, both uniformed and plain clothes. He flinches at the sound of Crozier trying to throw his weight around and getting nowhere. The heavy set Detective Superintendent with the thick northern accent stamps over to the sofa and addresses Luke roughly.

 

“That’s a bloody expensive piece of furniture that is. The taxpayers of this country didn’t intend their hard earned cash to be used on a piece of furniture for you to bleed all over.”

 

Luke glances up, but can’t meet his eyes. “Sorry, Sir,” he whispers. The Superintendent sighs, and takes a step backwards.

 

“Are you coming down off something, lad? Is that why you put up with this tosser kicking the crap out of you, because you need the money for drugs?”

 

“I’m not a rent boy,” Luke says in bewilderment.

 

“Look, lad, if you don’t press charges, he’s going to get away with this.”

 

“The Commander said not to.”

 

“Bollocks to her! You press charges, and I’ll see it goes all the way.” the Superintendent promises.

 

Luke wraps his arms more tightly around his battered body. “Sorry, Sir.”

 

“Just because he’s some bloody government bigwig doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.”

 

“Please, I just want to go home.”

 

“Alright, lad, I know you’ve said you’re okay, but I’m going to have someone take you to the hospital. We’ll find a nice big strapping policeman, how’s about that?” he jokes.

 

Luke smiles weakly at him. “Thank you very much, Sir.” He winces as his arm is taken and he is pulled to his feet. Luke is too hurt, too humiliated, to look at the officers milling around, and he certainly dare not risk seeing Crozier.

 

“Peter, who’ve we got that can take this lad to the hospital, and then home?”

 

“Taff is knocking off soon I think.” It’s a cultured voice that replies, smoother, but less friendly than the Superintendent’s voice.

 

“Perfect, send him over. I promised a big strong copper, and Taff should fit nicely.”

 

“Right you are, Sir.”

 

“Here you are lad, Taff will look after you. Take him to the hospital, and then when he’s done, take him home. Got that, Sergeant?”

 

“Yes, Sir.” Taff’s voice is soft, his accent Welsh. 

 

Luke looks up in shock, but the other men are looking elsewhere.

 

“Right, my lad, this is Sergeant Gilmore; he’ll see you home okay.”

 

The Superintendent stamps off leaving them alone. Craig glances at Luke, but there isn’t a flicker of recognition.

 

“Can you walk?”

 

“Yeah.” Luke’s voice is a broken whisper from the screaming. Craig frowns a little, but simply leads Luke out to the car.

 

It isn’t until they reach the patrol car that Luke sees his face for the first time. Now it seems obvious why Craig hasn’t recognised him.

 

His face is a bloated, bruised, and blood caked mess. One eye is swollen shut, and the other is swimming with blood. His lips are cut and bleeding. A boot print is clearly visible on his cheek.

 

“It’ll heal.” Craig says from the other side of the car, obviously realising that Luke is staring at his reflection. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I promise it will.” Craig opens Luke’s door for him and frowns again, trying to look Luke in the face, but Luke stares at the floor.

 

Luke hides in the corner of the car seat as far away from Craig as possible.

 

“Do you work around here often?” Craig asks conversationally. “Good money, is it?”

 

“I’m not a rent boy!” Luke answers, his voice reduced to a whisper, but something in the tone sparks with Craig.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean any offence,” Craig says mildly. “I just don’t see why anyone would put up with being used as a punch-bag if they could avoid it.”

 

Luke has finally learnt to recognise when Craig is trying to get a reaction, and for once ignores the provocation. Craig glances across, still trying to get a good look at Luke’s face. “What’s your name then?” he asks, going for the direct approach. Luke shrugs. “Funny sort of name.” Craig smiles at him. “My first name’s Craig, what’s yours?”

 

Luke puts his arms over his head, burrowing into the car seat.

 

“I’m not trying to pick you up, son. I just thought you looked like you needed someone to talk to.” Craig sighs, and shakes his head.

 

Luke hears the familiar offer, and cries silently.

      

***

 

He’s still curled up in a little ball when Craig parks the car outside the hospital. He stays there as Craig comes around to his side and opens the door. The sudden draught punctures his warm cocoon, and he desperately tries to turn way from Craig.

 

“Come on, son, you’ll feel better once the doctor has seen you.” Craig unbuckles Luke’s seat belt. Luke keeps his head tucked down as he swivels round. Craig puts an arm around his back and pulls him up out of the car. Luke sways, and falls against him. Craig catches him, and Luke gets a lungful of Craig’s pheromones. “If we’re going to dance cheek to cheek, I think I should know your name.” 

 

“Don’t, please.” Luke begs as Craig tilts his head up. Craig catches his eye finally, and realisation dawns on his face. Luke wrenches away, but still can’t support himself. He stumbles and falls, but Craig catches him once more. This time he puts a companionable arm around his back and guides him into Casualty.            

 

***

 

“I brought you some terrible coffee.” Craig sits by Luke on the hospital bed.

 

“Thanks,” Luke mutters, and leans against him.

 

“I’m sorry if I said anything out of turn before,” Craig says awkwardly.

 

Luke just shakes his head.

 

Craig looks at the beaten, abused man sitting next to him, and pain burns in his chest. “Would you rather I ring someone else, and ask them to take you home?” he tries.

 

“No.” Luke reaches out, and timidly takes Craig’s hand with his smashed, broken fingers.

 

“You should press charges.”

 

“The Commander said I wasn’t to.”

 

“Are you going back to him?” Craig asks. “Are you going back to your cabinet minister?”

 

“Guess not.”

 

“I’m sorry I thought you were a rent boy,” Craig says, horribly embarrassed. 

 

“That Detective Superintendent thought I was too.” Luke laughs and shrugs.

 

“The price you pay for looking so youthful. Why didn’t you tell me it was you?”

 

“I didn’t want you to know.”

 

“Does he hit you a lot?”

 

“Yes,” Luke says quietly. “All the time.”

 

“Why do you put up with it? Do you love him?” 

 

“No.” Luke strokes Craig’s hand.

 

“Do you think he loves you?”

 

“No, I don’t even think he likes me very much, and I don’t like him.” Luke shrugs again. His stomach growls loudly, and he blushes deeply. “They said I could go home soon.”

 

“That’s good; hospital food really is as bad as everyone says.” Craig rolls his eyes.

 

“How long were you in hospital for?” Luke winces, and stares at the bedclothes.

 

“Not so long,” Craig says gently. “I’m all better now.”

 

“I’m glad.” Luke sighs deeply. “I made such a mess of things.”

 

“That was a long time ago, Luke.” Craig pats Luke’s knee with his free hand.                

 

“It was. I was, awful. If I hadn’t run away after we’d kissed, then none of this would have happened. I just made mistake after mistake, getting myself into more of a mess.”

 

“You are out now though, aren’t you?” Craig asks, confused.

 

“It’s too late. I’m damaged goods. I don’t mean this.” He shrugs, and gestures at his face.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I don’t have good relationships. I’ve been out with men I’ve liked, and with men I’ve really fancied. I’ve never loved any of them though,” Luke says sadly.

 

“Maybe you just need to meet the right man.” Craig puts his arm around Luke’s shoulders.

 

“Met him.” Luke hangs his head. “That’s how come I ended up with Crozier.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“He was the right size.” Luke shrugs.

 

“You put up with being smacked about because he’s well hung!”

 

“No!” Luke giggles. “I didn’t mean that, and he’s not.” He wrinkles his nose. “He really isn’t. He’s the right, um, build. All the men I go out with are the same build.”

 

“Is that important?” Craig asks blankly.

 

“In the dark, in bed, I can pretend I’m holding someone else.” Luke shrugs.

 

“Is that it?” Craig asks, stunned. “Is that the only reason you put up with him?”

 

“Pretty much. Stupid, isn’t it?”

 

“You can do so much better, Luke,” Craig says helplessly.

 

Luke smiles up at him. “I don’t deserve better.”

                                                           

***

 

“Where are we going?” Luke looks out of the windows. “This isn’t my way home.”

 

“It’s the way to a very nice restaurant.” Craig pulls up in front of a brightly lit row.

 

“I… Craig, I can’t go into a restaurant like this,” Luke says, choking up. “I’m covered in blood, and bruises, and crap.” He flinches as Craig turns to look at him intently.

 

“Sorry, Luke, I wasn’t thinking. How about we order something in?”

 

“I’d like that.” Luke says, confused but hopeful.

 

***

 

Luke follows Craig into his beautifully decorated house.

 

He stares around at the Klimt prints and the soap-stone statuettes. Craig pulls off his uniform jacket, and fishes a sheaf of leaflets from a drawer in the elegant maple dresser.

 

“Would you like to borrow some clothes while I put your stuff in the washing machine?”

 

“Oh, yes please.” Luke smiles at him, standing in his crusted t-shirt and jeans. Craig looks thoughtful.

 

“Okay, have a quick flick through those while I get changed. I’ll fetch some clean towels, and something for you to wear. Then I can be ordering what we want while you’re having a shower. Okay with you?”

 

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Luke sounds bewildered as he looks down at the leaflets clutched in his hand.

 

***

 

Luke tiptoes into the bathroom. The room is sparkling clean and neat as a pin. He peels off his stiff, reeking clothes and puts them in the carrier bag that Craig has provided. He cautiously opens the door, and puts the bag in the corridor. He locks the door, and turns on the shower. Outside, Craig picks up the carrier bag and wanders off to the washing machine, leaving behind a small pile of clean clothes.

 

                                                                        *          *          *                                                                     

“Hey.” Luke pads down the stairs, his feet slipping inside Craig’s socks.

 

“Oh you look much better now.” Craig smiles up at him.

 

Luke grins back at him; he is glowing pink from the power shower. He is wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a sweatshirt. Both the trousers and the sweatshirt drown him, but Luke has never felt so comfortable in his life.

 

“Thanks for everything, Craig, I really appreciate it.”

 

“It’s my pleasure. The food will here in thirty minutes. Grab a seat. Are you allowed to have a drink?”

 

“Not allowed anything alcoholic because of the painkillers.” Luke sits carefully on the very comfortable sofa, and leans back against the cushions.

 

“Would you like a soft drink? I could get you a juice maybe, or a tea or coffee?” Craig offers.

 

“I’d love a coffee.”

 

“You have a lovely house here.” Luke is shaking with nerves as Craig sits next to him, and hands him his coffee.

 

Craig sips his own coffee slowly.

 

“Thanks. Where are you stationed now?”

 

“Barton Street. I didn’t want to move too far.” Luke closes his eyes briefly as Craig shifts position and their legs brush together.

 

“It must have been very hard for you,” Craig says gently, putting an arm around Luke’s shoulders.

 

“Yeah, but I brought it all on myself.” Luke snuggles against him.

 

“No, you didn’t. Do you see Kerry at all?”

 

“Not much since the divorce came through. She forgave me eventually, but it makes me feel bad to see her. I’m ashamed when I see her.” Luke puts his smashed hand over Craig’s whole one.

 

“Can I ask you something personal?”

 

“Oh dear.” Luke sighs. “This is going to be bad, isn’t it?”

 

“No, it’s not bad. I just wondered, what happened to your Mr Right?” Craig asks quietly.

 

“Are you winding me up?” Luke looks at him.

 

“No.” Craig frowns. “I just don’t understand. If you’re so much in love with him that you’ll date monsters just because they remind you of him, then why not go back to him?”

 

Confusion and pain flit across Luke’s face. “I can’t,” Luke mumbles, and can’t look at him.

 

“Is he dead?” Craig asks very gently.

 

Luke shakes his head.

 

“Is he married?”

 

Luke laughs, and shakes his head.

 

“No.”

 

“Then why not? Didn’t he love you?” Craig squeezes his shoulder tenderly.

 

“He loved me.”

 

“You sound very sure.” Craig addresses Luke’s bowed head.

 

“I am sure. I know how he felt,” Luke says firmly.

 

“I don’t understand why you don’t call him. If you loved each other so much, then isn’t it worth a try?”

 

“No. I was a total shit. What kind of a person would I be if I tried to win him back after I hurt him so much? He wouldn’t want me.” Luke’s voice is choked with tears.

 

“He wouldn’t want you? You haven’t even asked him?” Craig says softly.

 

“I couldn’t do that. If you break someone’s heart, you should at least have the decency to leave them alone once you’ve done it,” Luke snorts.

 

Craig removes his arm from around Luke’s shoulder.

 

“Do you want some more coffee?”

 

“Why did you do that?” Luke looks at him sideways.

 

“I thought you’d like some space. Was always your thing wasn’t it, space?”

 

“I was terrified.” Luke begins to cry silently. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Don’t cry,” Craig begs, and dries Luke’s face with a tissue. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I thought that I was crowding you again, I thought I was pushing you.”

 

“You weren’t.”

 

“Is there someone I can call?” Craig asks as Luke settles against his chest.

 

“No. There’s nobody.”

 

“I could call your Mr Right,” Craig offers. “Explain things to him.”

 

“No, you couldn’t,” Luke sniffles, with a smile in his voice.

 

“If it was me, Luke, I’d take you back.”

 

Luke looks up and stares into Craig’s eyes.

 

“You would?”

 

“Yes, Luke. I’d take you back like that.” Craig snaps his fingers and blinks back tears.

 

Luke smiles beautifully, and buries his head against Craig’s chest. Craig rests his head against Luke’s, stroking the nape of his neck.

 

***

 

“This is really nice.” Luke holds out his fork to Craig. “Wanna try?”

 

“Mmm, that is nice.” Craig smiles, and offers his own forkful of food.

 

Luke’s eyes close briefly as he savours the food Craig has offered. “What’s that called?” Luke asks, looking at Craig with bright eyes.

 

“Chicken and cashew nut.” Craig wipes a speck of food from Luke’s bruised face.

 

“Thank you,” Luke says with mock gravity.

 

“You are entirely welcome,” Craig says in the same tone.

 

“Craig?”

 

“Yes, Luke?”

 

“How come there’s only one set of towels in the bathroom?” Luke asks innocently.

 

“Why wouldn’t there be?”

 

“I just thought there would be two sets,” Luke grins. “You know, ‘his and his’ towels?”

 

“Cheeky monkey.”

 

“So, have you got a boyfriend?”

 

“Not for quite a while.” Craig shrugs, avoiding looking at Luke.

 

“Not going straight, are you?” Luke clasps a hand to his heart in mock horror.

 

“Hardly.”

 

“So?” Luke tries to catch Craig’s eye in vain.

 

“So what?”

 

“So, why haven’t you had a boyfriend for quite a while?” Luke persists.

 

Craig sighs. “I got hurt and I wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk anymore.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“I wasn’t sure if a boyfriend was worth the risk of getting hurt.” Craig stabs his food with a fork.

 

“Not everyone is going to hurt you,” Luke says awkwardly. “Even when things end badly there might have been good bits. What about Sean?”

 

“He wasn’t exactly Mr Supportive at the best of times.” Craig pulls a face.

 

“Oh,” Luke says quietly. “Sorry, I thought you had a good relationship with him.”

 

“Some bits of it were okay. After that though things went badly. I haven’t really had a relationship as such since I left Sun Hill.” Craig shrugs.

 

Luke’s mouth falls open. “That was almost five years ago!”

 

“No kidding.” Craig smiles sardonically. 

 

Luke blushes and scratches his head. “Aren’t you lonely?” he asks softly.

 

“It’s better than going out with a vicious monster,” Craig says sharply, regretting it when Luke flinches.

 

“Not for me. I get so lonely, and I miss you so much.”

 

“You miss me?” Craig says, frowning.

 

“Well, duh, who did you think I meant?” Luke smiles at him.

 

“I… I don’t know,” Craig stammers.

 

“Well, this is embarrassing.” Luke says pleasantly.

 

Craig opens and closes his mouth. “Are you serious?” he asks eventually.

 

“I thought you’d realised.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d had feelings for me.” Craig admits. 

 

“Huh?”

 

“I thought you were experimenting.” Craig shrugs. “I didn’t think it meant anything.”

 

“I thought you knew how I felt,” Luke says, horrified. “You always acted like you did.”

 

“I was pretty sure you were attracted to me.”

 

“That’s all?” Luke whispers.

 

“Well, at the time…” Craig squirms painfully. “I did hope perhaps for some glimmer of genuine affection from you. But that was pure romantic fantasy, and I knew it.”

 

“No it wasn’t.” Luke shakes his head desperately, and moves closer. “I wasn’t using you, I wasn’t experimenting. I didn’t know how to cope with being in love with you.”

 

“You never talked to me.” Craig puts a hand on his shoulder. “I never talked to you. It’s no wonder things got so screwed up.”

 

“You didn’t mean it then, did you?” Luke bows his head. 

 

“Didn’t mean what?”

 

“That you would take me back, if it was you.”

 

“I meant it,” Craig promises, and kisses Luke’s forehead.

 

“Yeah?” Luke looks up, and smiles shyly.

 

“Yeah.” Craig strokes Luke’s hair with his fingertips carefully avoiding the livid bruises standing proud in the short dark hair.

 

“Craig?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“You could kiss me properly,” Luke suggests hopefully.

 

“I’m scared.” Craig smiles sadly at him.

 

“I know I did wrong,” Luke says earnestly. “I would never do that again, I promise.”

 

“I didn’t think you would.”

 

“Why are you scared?” Luke gazes at him, fantasising about that kiss.

 

“There are lots of reasons.” Craig kisses Luke’s temple. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone. I know you wouldn’t do that again, but things could still go wrong. I don’t want to get hurt.”

 

“I wouldn’t hurt you.” Luke whispers, touching his hand to Craig’s face.

 

“That just leaves one really big reason to be scared.”

 

“What’s that?” Luke leans up, and wraps his arms around Craig’s shoulders.

 

“I’m scared of hurting you.” Craig admits.

 

Luke’s eyes fill with tears.

 

“You wouldn’t hurt me. You’re the gentlest person I’ve ever met.”

 

“You’re so badly injured, and so vulnerable.”

 

“You wouldn’t hurt me,” Luke insists. “I trust you.” He kisses Craig on the lips, eliciting a sigh.

 

“Are you sure about this?”

 

“I’ve been waiting for this for five years. I’m sure.”

 

Luke closes his eyes and waits.

 

Craig swallows sharply, and then tentatively kisses him.

 

They kiss softly, delicately and cautiously; nervous, uncertain and searching. Craig is terrified and shaking, while Luke is hot and hungry. After a while, Luke slides a hand down and unbuttons Craig’s shirt. He eases his hand inside Craig’s shirt, and runs his fingers through the silky chest hair. Craig starts to put his arms around Luke, but then flinches and pulls away from him.

 

“What’s wrong?” Luke asks softly, and pulls Craig close again.

 

“I don’t know how to hold you, and not hurt you.”

 

“Here.” He takes Craig’s arms and puts them carefully around his waist. “Hold me here.”

 

He kisses Craig again, taking the lead, sighing in appreciation. Craig responds tentatively as Luke deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue inside.

 

“Craig?” Luke murmurs.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Lets go upstairs?” Luke strokes the roof of Craig’s mouth with the tip of his tongue.

 

“Um, ooh, no.” Craig pulls away. “No, we can’t.”

 

“Are you keeping another man up there?” Luke teases.

 

“It wouldn’t be safe.”

 

“Don’t worry, Craig,” Luke giggles. “I won’t hurt you.”

 

***

 

“It’s simple.” Luke sits on the bed, and toes off his shoes. “Just let me go on top.”

 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Craig says weakly as Luke pulls him down onto the bed next to him.

 

“I need to feel you.” Luke climbs onto his lap, and pulls off his top. He pushes Craig’s shirt off his shoulders, and presses his chest against Craig’s.

 

“Do I feel okay?” Craig jokes, trying to take his mind off the livid bruises and welts on Luke’s chest.

 

“I feel so safe when we’re together. When you hold me, I know nothing can hurt me.” Luke kisses Craig’s neck. “On my stag night, it was like there was nothing else in the world but us. I need to feel that way again.” Luke pushes Craig flat on the bed, and leans over him. “How do I make you feel?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“You do like me, don’t you, Craig?” Luke asks nervously.

 

He nods stroking Luke’s hair. “I like you. I can’t take my eyes off you.” Craig smiles, but Luke looks sad. 

 

“If only I hadn’t run away. Things could have been so different.”

 

“You weren’t ready for a relationship. How could you have been ready when you were still in denial?” Craig says soothingly.

 

“If I hadn’t been ready, would you have dumped me?” Luke raises his eyebrows.

 

“I like to think I would have been a good friend to you.”

 

“See, I was right.” Luke shrugs. “If I’d been more mature, then things would have been different. I have to say though, that sooner or later, I would have had to pull you.”

 

“Oh, would you.” Craig meets Luke’s cheeky grin.

 

“It’s a foregone conclusion.”

 

“Is that so?” Craig grins.

 

“I know another foregone conclusion; do you want to know what it is?” Luke unbuttons Craig’s trousers.

 

“What’s that?” Craig asks, he is breathing heavily now.

 

“You aren’t getting out of this room as a single, unattached man.”

 

“Glad to hear it.”

 

 

The End

 


End file.
